Denzel ain't got nothin' on me.
T H E D O G M A N
After the Gummy Bear story (click here if you haven't read it yet), it didn't take long for news of my sleepwalking to circulate among the community in Colorado. The stories were funny and they were fun to tell. But while they were growing in number, very few of them captured an audiences attention like this next one.
We were running a youth camp in the mountains and slept a hundred or so people in two giant tents. One was a circus tent and the other was for weddings. (And no, there was no special symbolism between the tents and our camp... I don't think. Actually, wait until the story's over and decide for yourself.)
I ended up in the circus tent.
Separating the guys and the girls, we packed in about fifty people into each tent. And at night with everyone asleep, it was quite challenging maneuvering around all of the bodies and bags and cots and shoes and phones and whatever else high school students packed around. There wasn't much of an order to where people slept or how they positioned themselves.
(Okay, maybe the guys tent was a bit circus-like.)
So if you needed to use the restroom or something, it wasn't at all easy getting around everyone without either hurting them or tripping over their stuff (and then hurting them).
And that was with a flashlight in hand!
But none of that mattered now. Night had fallen and my performance for Best Sleepwalker was well underway. This was the night I'd take home the gold. The stage was set. I straightened out my tie and gave my jacket a good tug.
I was ready to leave my mark.
Opening my eyes, I stood to my feet. And for the effect of it all, and to leave the best, possible impression on the judges, I left my flashlight behind. I would go it alone. So there I was, gazing out over a dark, chaotic sea of body parts and disorganization. But I wasn't sure just yet what I should do. And that was when my eyes found the one person in the tent who could secure my running for Best Sleepwalker...
The leader of the camp, Stan Pawkins.
The only problem was, he was at the other end of the tent! And that meant that everyone was now at the mercy of a sleepwalker - a professional sleepwalker, but still. I soon found myself stepping over faces and nearly crushing electronics. I tip-toed over this and inched around that. And like a pro, I neither tripped over cable or sleeping bag, backpack or the occasional wandering arm. It was flawless. And let me just say this...
Nothing could stop what was coming.
As I neared Stan's cot, I cleared my throat and tried out a few of the animal sounds I knew. For whatever reason, it seemed like a good direction to take the performance. I wasn't quite sure which one to use, but since I was good at thinking on my feet, I figured it didn't matter. And you should know, I've always had a thing for animal noises... and my chimpanzee isn't all that bad! But a hollering monkey seemed a bit dramatic for this event. I needed something a bit more likeable.
Like this little guy...
So I found Stan's cot and knelt down beside his sleeping body. At first, I just watched him for a bit, staring into his restful face. He slept like a baby. I can't recall how long this went on for, but I'm sure I took my time. Next, I positioned my face near his and, opening my mouth, sort of just went with the moment. The next thing I knew, I was making dog noises into his ear! And since everything was riding on this moment, I really gave it my all, panting away like a thirsty Old Yeller. It was beautiful.
The next morning, I was left wondering what might've happened had
Stan and I slept in the wedding tent...
I guess we'll never know.
Note:
A "Mystery Post" is a post selected totally at random. There's a lot
to explore on this blog & this is a fun way to do it! Enjoy!
I had never felt so alive.
Awaiting my 'that a boy!' or, at the very least, a nice pat on the head, I panted on like there was no tomorrow. But then I realized something... Stan didn't like dogs. He just sort of freaked out and got intense with me! But I didn't allow this to discourage the performance. Best Sleepwalker was still on the line and I used this to my advantage.
I stopped panting and put my tail between my legs. Slowly rising to my feet, I walked away like the saddest creature in the world. I figured I'd at least show off my crazy sleepwalking-over-people skills (and maybe make him feel bad... or jealous). Before his very eyes, I traversed once more over the sea of bodies, climbed back into my sleeping bag, and continued sleeping.
And my noteworthy performance was over.
The next morning, I was left wondering what might've happened had
Stan and I slept in the wedding tent...
I guess we'll never know.
Quick Bonus Story: On another occasion, Stan and I - and a few others - were staying at his sisters house in Missouri. I was on the floor next to Stan and he was in the bed above me. Someone else was in the bed with him and the other two were on the floor as well. Well, not long after I had fallen asleep, I guess I sort of flipped up from my back and onto all fours and was staring at Stan from the bedside. It really freaked him out and he and the other guy weren't sure what might happen next. But thankfully for them, nothing else transpired and I soon laid back down!
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